WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAV TO DO TO GET IT TO STOP!!!!!!!!!!

ok latly stuff has really be going wrong and it just wont fucking stop its one thing after another and no one gets it . my stupid moms BF wont leave me alone for more then a sec hes alway saying stuff to me that makes me feel like crap and I hate it he even has to make us play with his fucking kids its horribal and I hate it and my mom keeps thinking that its nothing!!!!!!!!!! and on top of that she wants to take the com away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean the computer is the only thing I have theres nothing else that I do during the day I mean I watch Tv and ea but thoughs are the only other thing I do my life is nothing I dont have one almost all of my friends are online and the ones that arnt online I barly see so I dont get to hang out with anyone!!!!!!!!!!! I have no intrest no talents hobbies nothing like that!!!!!! if she taks the computer then the only thing all have is food and Tv!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate this !!!!!!!! and it summer summers arnt suppost to be broring there supost to be the time when you can have fun and do things with your friends and family but I dont get to do any of that!!!!!! i hate i my summer is going to be boring and lonly....... oh and I finly started to like a guy but he dosnt know and I dont think I can tell him cuse if I do im just going to wreck things with us and again I hate that to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well I guess my life is coming to where i dont really have anything and im not even out of high school..............................................if feel like killing myself

She was only 13

this sad little poem made me cry

Her dad was drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept herLocked in an attic
Her only friendwas a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair
She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound
Until her parents unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore
A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear
And softly crysShe loves her parents
But they want her to die
She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,"Please God, why isMy life always sinking?"
Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did
Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made
She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,"You deserve to dieYou worthless piece of crap!"
The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying
Police showed upAt the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly
Opened a doorTo find the little girl
Lying dead on the floor
It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

some stuff............

ok ya some poems I could really relst to and liked alot these are done by some friends on DA

Turn me Inside out,

So that I can't hide my Feelings

and Thoughts

Flip ME upside Down So I can Spil it all out

To Let you know everything i fear.

I'm hurting inside,

crying in pain

On the outside its all smiles

eyes sprkle with glee

In the inside Bloodshot and crying.

A Knife Jabing my heart with out notice.

Bleeding With and every laugh i force out.

I need help

I need to be Held

I need Someone to turn this around,

Turn me Inside out

Flip Me Upside Down

Im tierd of killing myslef slowly.
by GoneUnder

Sweet Little Lies

Sperd Across you Lips

Making everyword sound hole.

Even though they are empy promises.

Never kept, but said.

Sweet Little lies,

Makes all the diffrents To those you have told.

The think the know you and your story,

But all they know is sweet little lies,

the ones that keep them happy,

And then hurt in the end,

Replace the Pain with more Sweet Little Lies,

How they still Trust you I'll Never know,

Yet again,

All i even know isYour Sweet Little Lies

by GoneUnder

People Think,

That I'm Strange,

Only BecauseI Dont do what They Do,

Want what They Want, And

Tell them what they Don't Want to Hear,

I Am Strange.

I Know I Am,

But not In the way You Think.

People Think,

I Have No Life,

For I sit here

And Wright poems,Draw,Espress myself,

When All They DoIs sit around,Doing Nothing...So I guess, My life is Pretty Good.

People Think,

Im Depressed,

For i don't yell out what i Feel,

Don't They know,

Somethings Are better left

Unsaid.

And Most of the time,

I'm happy.

Happyer then They ever Will be.

People Think,What People Think.

They Don't Have a mind Of they'er own.

So I Think,

That yha,

maybe I am all though things,

For Know one eles,

Shares my mind

by GoneUnder

my little friend is back!!!!!!( who said that??)

well as I said my little frind is my , its my little friend the demon. now my deamon friend isnt a demon I just disided to call him that because he keeps me up at nights and looking over my shoulder as if there was a demon there. now I cant see my deamon but I here him all the time but the only thing he ever says is my name. I dont know why but thats all he says all be siting in the house alone and all here my name being calld or all wake up at night to here some one saying my name. I find it really strang and a bit scarey but at the same time I like to think im not alone witch is good cuse I hate feeling alone. I like my demon he ust to be aroun d all the time in grad 8 but then I just stoped hereing him and now hes back!!!!!!

I dont really have a pic in my head about what he would look like and I kinda dont want to know . I like not being able to see him because that way I wont judge him on anything on looks or get scared pver all I think my demon is really kool I mean I dont know anyother people with one so it makes me feel special lol and I like that :)

ok well I geuss I should talk about my day well it was boiling hot!!!!! and I was out side for most of the day witch sucked but I was out saide to have fun you see my old school had some little carnival thing going on with games and stuff I me mg and shannon had to mage one of the games witch was good because it was in side where there was air condisioning!!!!!! well I had fun and even better em came by and stayed at the game with us so we got to talk and just hang out

( at the end I got this really cute looking haky sack!!) I had a lot of fun I bought like 8 things of cothen candy! (a new recocrd sinces last year where I downd 5 of them) witch rocked!!!!!!!!!!! but I spent like 17 dollers on food alone because I couldnt stop eating lol so I cant go down town tomorow witch sucks but oh well next time

well going to go I think that candy is coming back to hunt me lol

bye bye

sick of it!!!!!!(never around)

IM tierd

tierd of trying and never geting anywhere

tierd of losing

tierd of making a fool of myself

tierd of being diff

tierd of being sad

tierd of being lonly

tierd of being disaponted

tierd of being betrad

tierd of geting hurt

im soo tierd of it all I really just want it to end but I know I cant do that to leave all these people behind like they keep leaving me would be wrong. I know that everyone gets tierd but IM tierd al the time now and it dosnt end IM tierd when I got to bed and IM tierd when I wake up IM tierd when Im in class and IM tied when Im alone!!!!!!

im tierd and the only time IM not is when IM with friends I love being aournd my friends thres no where else I want to be but I usly rarly get to hang out with them there always so busy with there lives and stuff they have to do and IM siting at home with no hobbies no talents no homework no family stuff no vacaton nothing.

no ones never around when I need them the most!! so I look to other places to act like them to talk to complet strangers I write in my books I pertend that theres someone else there (like an imajenary friend) and turn to my blog. I do anything just to feel like there something there listioning to me hereing what I have to say!.

and when I do finly talk to my friend about it its usly days or weeks latter and they think IM hiding it from them or soething like that. and I really dont like keeping things from my friends but if I were to tell them everything it would put stuch a stran on the friendship and it woul be harder to look at them knowing that they know and I wouldnt be able to be as happy around them. I just want some one to be there right when I need them in that moment some one that I can always count on some one to look after me and ask Qs just be around to be with wouldnt have to tlk doing anything just be there.

STOP TAKING MY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(fuck this!!)

omfg im soooooooooooooooo mad at shannon right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can stand it any more!!!!! im soooo sick of her always stiling my work food art disigns clothing choses and attitude!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shes always taking everything that mine and then she has the nurve to turn around and say that she only took one thing!!!!!!!!!!! ya try adding all thoughs fucking things up and see how much that makes!!!!!!!!!!
ok for the people that dont know who shannon is shes one of my close friend kinda I mean Iv alway hung out with her and stuff but I mean she gets on my nurves alot!!! shes a friend I know and your not soupost to talk shit about them but I dont know if I can stand it any more!!!!! she really needs to shut her smart ass mouth!!!!!!!!
ok well Iv alway had problems with her but never say it because I dont want to hurt her and I know that shes just going to come out saying that some how shes the victom in all of it and start to cry

well it all kinda started around this year

shannon started geting a little meaner and careless

she startd to take more things with out asking treating stuff like crap

acting like the world revoled around her

saying she had all of thes big problems

and treating me like I wasnt there

and saying stuff she shouldnt

ok well some of the stuff she has done I can ignore most of the time but she dosn know when to stop !!

Iv been lending shannon books ever sinces we meet but now she dosnt bother to take care of them she just leavs them lying on the floor or bending the pages and lending them to people I dont even know!!!! I mean the books arnt even hers there mine!!!! and your soupost to respect your friends things !!! and It really fucking pissed me off when I found one of my books all torn and bent in a pile of toys!!!!!!

another thing she did that realy hurt me was when she stole a relly importen line in one of the poems it wrote and my writing means alot to me (its probly the only thing keeping me from going insane!!) and it was one of the best poems that I had ever wrote!! and when I finl did confront her about it she just said "its one fucking line what dose it matter my poems completly differnt then yours so dont get all mad about it!!!" and her poem was diffent my poem was about a time when you feel that kind of hurt down deep in your stomic and her was about the betral of friends and that one line diffind my poem completly and she had the nerve to take the line thinking she knew what it ment!!!! and when I tryd to confront her again she started to cry saying she was the victom and that I was the bad guy!!!!!!!

ok another I bring food to eat everyday at school now I have to bring food from home cuse I cant afourd to my stuff from the cafe but she can and she ose almost every day and eats that up really quickly. now my friend emma buys food to but she shares with the rest of the people and just dosnt hog it to herself!! and whats worse is when shannon done eating she starts to eat some of my food without asking, now yesterday I had some dentile work done and could only eat serton foods cuse it still hurt and she eat mose of the food I brought!!!! so I barly got anything to eat, so now I havent eaten in almost 2 days!!!!!!!!!

theres so many other thing that she done but I cant say them all!!!

I just dont think IM going to be able to stand it anymore!!! Im sick of the way she acts and they way she treats me!!!!!!

IM tierd and all I want to do is not have to deal with her every fucking day!!!

well I got to go be angery at her now bye bye

goshniss stupid family!!!!!!(tiffys bf is kool!!)

ok people well again havent posted for a hile and mainly because I haven t been up to much but ya . sooo today I went to a mine family reunen kind of thing you know where you have a big dinner with you close family and drink talk and have fun , well mine arnt like that I mean we drink and eat and talk but for me its not that much fun. you see my family dosnt really like me cuse I look and act a bit "diffrent" well I dess in black dont like to talk much and because of that they also tret me diff to and I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! my family all make jokes about me behind my back and usly have something "funny" to say to me and every one laughs when they do, but when they say it its just plan mean to me. they also feel as it that they havbe to keep thelling me that I havent "changed" and that IM not "differnt" but I can tell that there thinking the exsact oppistet. I also dont fit in with any of my cousients I mean I can barly talk to them or hang out with them its that hard . so I usly end up having to sit somewhere near to the parents and liston to there coverstions witch theyt all suck !!!!!!. but at the family reunen my cusient tiffny came down with her bf and he was pretty kool ( he liked my hair :) and not many people do) and the worst part is my mom makes me go to every one of theses things witch sucks cuse there alll the same . but all and all I still love them (and I probly only love them cuse we got the same blood!!) yes that is mostly my familys vese on me well my moms side of the family any way lol

so talk to yous latter

P.S new kill joy kid story coming sooon!!!! "the gum girl"

ok people

ok well Iv just be feeling so streesd out right now and I realy just want to sleep in every morring I mean last night I really wanted to kill myself badly to !!! and I keept thinking about how I would probly never leave kingston and here are my reasons why

-im poor meaning I cant really afourd to go to collge

- I have no talents meaning by now I probly wont find any

-I have an iep meaning IM stupid and will pobly fail hafe of the stuff I do in life

- I look diff meaning no ones going to acsept me

so ya thats it I mean without money you cant really do much in life and I mean lets face it IM a poor kid and will probly end up being a poor adult, I mean like I cant even afourd to go on hafe the trips at school, have new clothing ,get stuff I need for school or do anyhting outside of that I mean my mom cant even afourd to get me into any sort of lessons for anything. i have no exsperis in anything but babysiting and I still suck at that!!!! goshniss it just seems like my life is all ready pland out I mean I want to do something with my life but IM not good ant anything and with out money to have lessons and stuff I dont think all get better!! man Im going to end up poor and and selling myself for money.

well another deepresing story from SC hope you feel better about you life now bye bye

ya ya I know havent posted in a while but no ones reading this so who cares!!

ya ya I know havent posted in a while but no ones reading this so who cares!!!!!

kk so I know that no one reads any of the shit IM posting but I still like to post on here!!! I like posting on here because its like posting all of my worries and feelings out and even though no one reads it at lest i can read it and go back on how I was feeling at diff times and stuff and man I have been having a really weird week!! you know I find that posting is more like talking to myself ( I tend to talk to myself alot)

I know it seems weird but when you have no one else to talk to in life it becomes normal. I mean I do try to look for people to talk to but when I do they dont want to here about what wrong with me , they dont like it , its as if my worries dont matter and I know that it sounds kinda selfesh

(witch I can be at time ok mabye alot but Im trying to stop that) but I want some one to talk to really badly and this blog is sort of like that person , I mean hey its probly better then talking to myself ? I know by now I sound really crazy

(witch I probly am) but I know Im not the only one thats like this and by "this" I mean "atic-socaile,weird,unable to fit into sosity and talks to stuff that isnt there" . well I found some one else who is like "this" I dont know exsacly who she is but her story almost sounds the exsact same as mine , hears what she said

---------------

i just have to say this before i go completely insane! my mom is a ass. never lets me do anything. i cant even go to the park ACROSS THE STREET! i hardly ever leave the house except to go to a school were 9/10's of the school hate me. and they have good reason. i have no social skills making me look like a ass. but all i realy want is a friend. god that sounded so pathetic. me being alone all the time has pushed me to the brink of accual insanity. i see things all the time. little bugs moving around me only to vanish as soon as i look closer, i frequently see ghosts. i once even talked to a spider. i do go to therapy. but somehow that adds more stress to my already maxed out life. and the bad thing is i have nothing to stress over. i try to relax all the time. i love walking through my yard. its so beautiful. flowers and birds everywere. but i always thing someone is watching me. criticiing me. even if i have a good day like the past week im depressed. finaly i have stopped cutting but the scars are still fresh and my mom will find out eventually. i feel like my life is on the edge. anyone else having these feelings?

---------------

what she said really related to me I mean I feel just like her

I have more friends on the intrernet then I do in real life

Im not aloud to go to my park alone

people at my school hate me

I talk to myself

I also love going for walks

and I feel like IM always being watched

hers what I wrote back to her

--------------

wow your life sounds alot like mine I rarly leave my house to and I always feel like there are people watching me but Im also bit crazy to , you shouldnt worrie life passes by everyday sooner or later your life will become orgenized and timed and you wont even now it. ps. talking to ghost and spider is more comen then you think trused me :)

--------------

well yes thats what I wanted to say for now oh

p.s. the post befor this is a week old but my bloger hasnt been working right so I had to post it latter on sorry

why????? (em is asome!!!!!)

ok well this week sucked onces again I got hurt yelld at and hated but its nothing new. I went to my friend em's house on friday witch was alot of fun , shes probly one of the kool's friends I ever had. we played on her skatebourd well there we both got hurt but were fine and it was still fun. Ok but I really want to talk about something right now and that is marrieg. I mean my mom did it and that ended in divorse then she tryed again and that was cut short and now shes taking another hit at it,

I mean I dont get why people even do it ,its all just a scam for catters and other compneys to make more money not to menchon the taxes that come along with geting married. and why bother 1 out of 2 marriegs today will end in divores and suposdly people are being more carfull about who they marrie ,well thats a big lie!! man Im a kid of 2 divores and these things never go well!!!! my realy dad fought really hard to get as much as he could but the thing was he never fought about us,

the kids there wasnt even a court hearing for it , he didnt even want us and the thing is he was still my fav dad because he may have not wanted me but atlest he didnt make it worse and make me see him every weekend( I was 6 when they wanted a divorse 10 when they acctuly got it done, not once in that time did I ever see my dad but I herd about him non-stop).

then there is my mom's 2 marrieg I like this guy alot to he was pretty kool , but the problem with him was a month befor the wedding he relized that he still loved his ex-wife , big shocker there . well my mom was hart brocken and disided to dump all her worries on me .

witch made life even harded not only was I the loner kid with no friends at school but I was also the one kid that wanted to kill them self and I still do. well that marrieg ended quicer not much of a fight and I havent seen him sinces. now for my mom's new atemt to walk down the ile .

well this one I hate right now hes just my moms bf but shes already thinking about it. hes the worst one shes picked yet he tease me non-stop and picks on my little sister to oh and I forgot to meantcon he has 2 kids of his oun and hes only started with geting divorse with his wife!!! my mom is praticly picking them off befor there even out of one marrie .

that all I want to say about him right now . so I think marrie is something that should have never been invented life would be much better with out it!!!! personly I dont want to get marriend not after seeing what happens in a marrieg and how it can end for me the word "marrieg" dosnt exsist . all people look for is to make there hart full with another person but when it dosnt work out the hole in there hart gets bigger and bigger.

sorry!!! (crap not again!!!!)

ok Im sorry I havent writen in a while IV been geting really busy . so ya I hurt my leg really badly and Im stuck inside and i cant ride my skatebourd grrrrrrrr. ok but ya Iv been talking to my friend em alot more because well her dad just died from cancer. and shes going thought a really tougf time with family and everything.

so Im going to hang with her tomorow and go to her house friday witch should be lots of fun!!!

ok man I have also been talking to a friend called cody he is sooooooo kool he always hase something nice to say and is just sooo smart he looks good to , hes alot older then me but still kool to talk to an all but seeing as Iv always had a touf time with people older then me (bullyed my cuseintds and other) soo this is kool and I want to talk to him a lot more!!!!!. ok soo life is ok as always and I still geting beat up but ya. heres another poem for yous

fear

fear is the darkniss closing in

it tasts like sweat runing down a neck

it smells like a misty swamp land

fear is a chiled hiding under the covers

it makes you feel hepless

ok so mabye the weekends arnt that great...... ( I toled you I would!!!)

ok well this weekend isnt turning out the way I wanted it to be but still its 2 days off of school witch is great but I have nothing to do and my moms bf wont leave me alone ( i really hate him!!!!!!) oko well I told you that I would put up one of the kill joy kids so herer it is!!!!!

little mudeur

gwenith was 6 years old the first ime she ever killed anyone and ho what a brilent day that was.

wall you see gweniths new stepfather was finley going to move in and how she disliked him. so much that she would star at him for hours imagening that she was buring holes throw his head. A comen thing for her to do.

gwenith sat in the big lazy boy chair staring at the moving vans holding on to her teddy bear tightly her shoulder langth hair pulled back from her face so she could make sure that her step father could see that she was staring at him again but she knew the man was such a dimwit that he just thought she liked him alot.

but gwenith knew exsacly what to do, to get rid of him but she also knew that it would take a while and she was already geting ready for it

for the next weeks gwenith sat in her dark room planing way to get rid of him and at night she would stand at him bedroom door watching him with her teddy bear in hand.

gwenith came up with lots of iders to get rid of him from feeding him posinse playdoug to dressing up like a ninja and atacking him

gwenith tryed all of these plans but all faild she was so angre that she snaped. but with that snap came the best plan she had ever came up with . it was so good it made her teddy smile

that night gwenith dreamt about the happy day of his funeral

the next night when her stepfather got home gwenith was siting in the lazy boy chair with her teddy and she finley burnt a hole through his head.

the weekend has come!!!(stupid people!!)

ok IM soo happy it is the weekend cuse that means skatbording ,writing, not having school and not having to see annoying shannon for about 2 days!!(hopfully)

ok so my day at school sucked it was a non-uniform witch was good until shannon came down the hall she was dressed in the weidest outfit that I had ever see it was sooo ugly and lest be blut but shannon isnt exsacly the prettyst rose in the buch oh well I delt with the humlaton of having to be around her and after that I got beat up again . during luch I couldnt get this frecky gy to leave me alone he keeps thinking that I like him but I really dont!!!! so after he left I got away from everyone and when to the lybrary with mg for a few mins. so that was kool I also finshed my book wich was also nice and now I plan on spending the night listoning to music watching anime and on the com witch are all things I love soo much

ok well today in class I wrote some poems and now you get to read them

ok this is just stuff I did in class about the typ of people you always here about in high school and such that girl

theres always some one in a group of friends that wil do a little more

some people will call her a whore but to her.

shes just opening new doors that other would just hit to the floor

to try new things is her moto but she ato know the places where she shouldnt go

so the lower she gose the more of her dirty deads you know.

her again

you always see her with the bad atitude

people are always aware of her moods

people always think theres something wrong with her brain

but she knows she'll never be tame

shes got a take no shit sperit

so you know shell never hear it

so now matter what you say shell always wrek your day

who?

shes quit and calm at the back of the classs

shes the last person you see when ever you pass

shes the one person that you chose to ignor

shes scared of crows so shell stay out of stores

soo scared to open new doors

she much rather stay trapped

in her little courner

for a sec

quick passed and fast as she recses

you see her for a second and then shes gone

never around for long always trying to move along

scared shell fall behind

for her life has no ending line and

keeping track of time is always on her mind

people think shes hyper but now one sees the fear in her eyes

ok ya thats it please coment ( ya I know I have really bad spelling)

finely a non-uniform!!!!!!! (still working on it)

yaaaa!!!!!!! Im sooo glad that tomow is going to be a non-uniform day!!!! well you see I go to a chathlic school so non-uniform days are really rare soo Im really happy!!! ok well Im still practicing skatbording and I tend to keep practising!!! well Im going to put up the kill jot children this weekend when I get the free time but I also have a test to studdy for so I may only put one on ok, well right now I want to tell you a bit about all my friends because I felt that I should at lest talk about them once
em- em is a really kool friend she has an asome sence of styl and is sooo vintige
emma- emma is one of the bi girls that likes me (sorry but IM strate) and shes also really kool and is into shasper and all of that 19 cencery stuff
mg- mg is my best friend shes totly kool with everything and is the creater of the asome phillip (she is an amazing artist to!!!!!)
stepie- stepie is one of my go for it hyper friends that is sooo much fun to hang out with to bad I dont see her to much
kris- kris he is sooo kool he has great hair and is a good artis he has touaght me how to skatbord and I love him for it!!!!
brandon- brandon is a kool friend as well though I dont se him much
alxe- alxe is my pimp lol hes soo kool easy to talk to and rocks
kristal- kristal is also bi and likes me shes really kool and hucked me up with my first bf to bad I had to dump him
shannon- shannon is one of thoughs people that hangs out with you even if you sont want her to shes ok but not nesarly a good friend
well thats all my friends talk to you tomorow bye bye

well another day ( and I finly got it !!!!!)

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I got my skatebord!!!! it maybe a really crapy one but its still a skatebord!!!!!!!!!!! IV started to get better but I still have a really long way, so Im geting my friend kris to come over and teach me so IM going to be get ing even better soon!!!!!!

ok well another day in school and as uslely I got bullyed but thats nothing new. but something really bad did happen . in my 4 class my teacher made me read a poem that I had made about skatebording , now dont get me wrong it was a good poem I just hate reading it in class I hate reading anything in class or persenting anything!!!!!!!!!

so I got over that and then I hurryed down to my bus and when I got home mom had locked the door and was in the shower so I sat outside for like an hafe hour waithing for her witch sucked but then a little while after I got in and she freacked because I said the tea cloth was full of bactera and she beat me again it wasnt bad all it did was sace me and then I went up to my room and did what I always do after she hits me or yells at me crys and.......

ya but that was my really really bad day and I know there will be another one like it soon but for now I just need to get through it.

aww monday (something sad to say)

well then monday has rolled around again and another week of pain is back god I hate school!!!!!!!

you see I go toa chathlic school you know one with all the uniforms and stuff , well at my school being anything but a prep is considerd one of the most worst crines you could ever comit!!!! and because I look diff from every one else I get bullyed ALOT!!!

so going to school isnt really my favorit thing to do but its not all that bad I have some really good friends that go there!!!

ya so if theres anyone else out there (and I know there are) that get as bullyed as much as I do , dont let it take over your world theres always another way out of things

well people I have some even worse new to tell you it seems that I am going to have to give up skatbording......... i know it really sucks well this isnt the first time that Iv had to give up a sport or something I love but in my house there just isnt enougf mony to get me a new skatbord and the stuff that I need so onec again I have to leave another thing that I love behind all becuse my dad disided he didnt love us............

my day........ (its pretty kool!! lol)

well as a said befor (thats if you read the other post) I would tell you about my day

now it wasnt varey eventfull just had a friend over and stayed home . now the friend that I had over was the one and only kris now kris is a good friend and he is varey kool!!!! on my day with him I went to pleaces I had never been befor!!! like the feild behind my house and to the rich part of the naborhood!!!! now I know that this sounds strang because I should have already been to these places but you see I live in a varey strang world as it is . my mom is a single mom and the rest of my moms family looks down on that and there kids are "perfict" so going to the feilds near there house or wondering throught the nabourhood is unheard of so when thay hear that I do stuff like that they make my mom stop me so because of this I rarly ever go out and this has been going on since I was 8 years old and it has made me a varey anit social person . but now for one in my little sad life Im finly going out more and haveing a life!! im soo happy now to think that now I have more friends then I have ever in my life and I would like to end this post on a happy note

soo to all the people out there gowing up like me , go out do things dont be scared and dont let people hold you back there is so much to discover!!!

the kill joy kids!!!!!! (its now how it sounds!!)

ok well right now its pritty early in the moring well for me anyway lol . and I have disided to tell you about the "kill joy childreen". now the "kill joy childreen" is exsacly what it sound like ,kinda.

you seen thes are kids that get joy from killing (dosnt it sound sooo kool!!) now it is a short stoire seres that I so far have three books writen on it and IM in the prosese of creating picters to go along with it . now the three book names are

1.little muder

2.the digger

3.hair girl

little muder is about a little girl that wants to kill her new step father (who is soo dum he cant even tell that she hates him) and she comes up with plan after plan to try and kill him

the digger is about a little boy that works in a feuneral home diging graves but his secret is that no one knows what is really being put in the graves.

hair girl is about a little girl that has no hair and people are always making fun of her for it but when shes had enougf shell gets her reveng

ok that was a quick sumery of all the stories as soon as I eait the good things I will post them up soo keeep watch for them

thats all for now there might be another post again tonight tellinging about my day

so keep the koolniss with you lol

by Suicidal CupCakes

yaaaaa

yaaaa I finly have a blog and IM all fired up to use it!!!

as I said I only post the truth and the truth can be hurtfukk so if your not up to it dont read my blog!!!

well first off I want to say that I am kool and I like me hehe LOL jk I would never like me I actuly hate myself though so many people say I shouldnt but oh well .

ok well I live with my mom and two siste . were poor so dont exspect to many vacasons lol ( I hate my little sisters anoying brats!!!) and I also have two cats named monster and daggar!! I love my kittes lol

oh well alittle about me !!! Im a writer (meaning Im going to be posting some of my work so exspect poems and such) I also like photoghapy (so exspect lots of pics) and IM a BIG fan of M.Alice(so exspect to see alot of here work) M.Alice is an amazing writer ,cosplayer,sketcher . she is the crater of the hit book bizenghast and is varey pritty I envey her lol

OK so Music I love music I mostly like rock and teckno and lot of other stuff with a really grate beat !!!!! I play guitar and Im not varey good at it but IM trying !!!

ok and well I geuss thats it for now let the koolniss be with you~!!!!!~!!!!